Pseudosentimente?

I keep asking myself if it’s only in my head. If I’m the only one who’s aware of it… but I’m not even aware of it until I’m right on the edge. It sneaks up and before you know it digs mines in your very heart. 

It makes you start wondering if this whole world is real. If what you see and what you hear and what you feel is right, then this whole thing must be real. But the mind plays tricks on us, mortals. 

So how do I know it’s real? How do I know it’s not just in my head? Because if it is just in my head, then I should be able to stop it. Right…?

It feels like I’m the only one who’s broken here. The only one who’s too hopeless, because I’ve been sharing hope for people and I’ve run out. There’s nothing left for me. 

Why isn’t there a light at the end of my tunnel? Why doesn’t anyone light up a damn candle? Why I doubt that tomorrow will be more colorful? And above all, if everything is just in my head, why don’t I find an answer?

They call it state of mind. I call it a blank page. I need to write something down before someone can edit it… you can’t edit a blank page. You can’t edit a soul that is paralyzed by reality.

It’s in my head and I can’t get it out. As much as I want. As much as I try. It’s there and I don’t know if it’s here to stay. It makes me want to hurt myself. 

Song of the day: